The purpose of this post is not to stir up drama, or to take sides, or anything. The whole “contaminated” issues just brought up some feelings in me, and I’d like to share my perspective.
I’ve felt contaminated. I’ve felt impure. I’ve felt dirty and tainted and gross and disgusting and marked and ruined.
I, like, 25% of American women, was raped.
I spent years feeling dirty and damaged. I starved myself and cut up my arms, legs, chest, crotch and face. I felt like there was something rotten and bad inside me that I could never get out, that I would never be whole and clean again.
Rape is not uncommon. Statistics vary, in America, from 1 in 6 women and girls to 1 in 3, and that usually doesn’t include incest. Sex that doesn’t fit the legal definition of rape that is still coerced or pressurized is even more common. So is being sexually harassment, molested, groped, stalked, etc.
I can’t find good statistics on lesbian rape victims (and Google keeps giving me porn results, ugh), but I know I’ve read somewhere that lesbians are even more likely to be raped — “corrective” rape, anyone?
I’ve had consensual sex with a man. I’m not applying for any Gold Star here. But being called “contaminated” — in a feminist space, no less! — just brings back old memories of the years I spent feeling dirty and bad because of something a man did to me.